They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
