As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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