cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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