do herpes really smell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
