i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
