omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
