as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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