brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Where is the hickey?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
