Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
