Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
