im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
