I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
