"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
