thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
