I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
