Porn is love you can see.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
