We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
