How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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