he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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