i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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