Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
