Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
