I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
