No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
