wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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