just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i believe in u and ur pee
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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