The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
