I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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