My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
