there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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