Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
