Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize