I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
