beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
