But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
