I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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