My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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