ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
