Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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