You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
