weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
