Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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