just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
