nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
