So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
