I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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