So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone đ
Last nightâs booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, weâre hunting dick tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming âFAJITAS!â. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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