You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
