My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
