i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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