And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
